I don't know why that made me chuckle because I suppose you are serious. Some people have trouble controlling things inside their own house, let alone a house across town or perhaps even further away. That would take one heck of a XTB!
Kidding aside, X10 used to offer a telephone controller. You could call it up and issue commands through the touchtone keypad. I believe that has been discontinued, but there may still be some kicking around in inventories.
I don't use the CM15A myself, but I believe it has some ability for control by the Internet. Perhaps someone else here can expand on that feature.
Jeff