Also may be helpful for you in diagnosing my trouble:
My router has a log of requests made to it, and despite all these attempts, I never see them in that log. Pretty much all I see are periodic requests from the Wii in my basement, intermingled with very occasional log-ins from my laptop if my wife fires it up in the living room while I'm in my office doing this. I actually did see my Blackberry connected, but that was just when I came home and it went from cell-tower to WIFI when I got in the house (I work 12 hour shifts Fri-Sun, so left at 5:15am this morning and returned shortly before 7pm this evening, same the next two days, explaining my "darkness" for a while getting back to you with my results). I can see log requests that were accepted and denied (from other sources) from before I disabled the firewall, but it appears to still do the logging even though firewall's now disabled, just never says "access denied," always "access allowed." I'm using CA Firewall, Anti-virus, and Anti-spyware, again all disabled.